Opinions on pro anorexia

   I was asked to discuss this topic by a beautiful young lady I talk to on facebook. Most people understand that anorexia and bulimia are very serious life threatening diseases that ruin your body and, in some cases cause death. There is a whole other world of believers out there that call themselves Pro anorexia, pro bulimia, or pro eating disorders. These groups mainly exist online and offer "support" to others usually just starting out in their eating disorders. If you've ever been to one you can see how frightening it really is.
   These people preach anorexia as a lifestyle choice rather than a disease. They post up tips and rules to avoid your body's signal that it needs food all the while teaching you how to get everything by your parents. You are expected to put your eating disorder and weight above everything else. People will sign up for group fast and they will remind you how weak you are if you give in and provide your body with fuel to run off of.
   Maybe you are wondering how I stumbled across these site, well I've always told my readers I would never lie and that fact still stands. I use to live by their rules and I was convinced that they were right and the "support" I was giving was the greatest advice I've ever had. Everyone in my life kept telling me I was so sick, how I had to eat survive and I was getting so fed up. Then I found these groups and everyone told me to keep going strong that nothing was more important than my anorexia. I kept being told this was a lifesytle choice not a disease that was killing me. I wore my braclets proud showing I was a true anorexic.
   Even when my parents put me in mccallum place to get me help I fought them...I fought the staff until one day another patient pulled me aside and told me the only way I would get out was to eat and they taught me how to fool them and exercise my way out. I listened to this patient and I allowed myself some food, not a lot just enough to get me out of inpatient and as soon as I got home I contacted my "friends" who all told me how awesome it was I got out and do on and encouraged me to lose the weight I had put on.
   I had blinders on, I couldn't see that the people running these groups were seriously sick individuals who were just trying to bring others down too. They enjoyed having other people they could relate to and if they could keep you believing that you were fine and everyone else was just trying to make you fat you would never see the truth. They made you believe when you looked in the mirror all you could find was problem areas and blinded you to the sickly reflection that everyone else saw.
    Anorexia and bulimia are not lifestyle choices they are a slow form of suicide. Trust me I understand the need to be the sickest, people couldn't possibility see how hardcore you were unless you got the tube down your nose to be force fed. You scream at everyone who tries to help you because you have it undercontrol...this is the lifestyle you have chosen and no one could take it from you.
   Here is the problem eventually you begin to realize what has happened. You have made it to where the only "friends" you have are girls online telling you how being skeletal is everything that the closer you get to zero the more control you have. Your family and real life friends have all been pushed away because there is only room for your eating disorder in your life. In my case, there was no room for me to go to the school I got a music scholarship, no room for a boyfriend, basically no room for any fun because you convinced yourself you didn't deserve it.
   That's the thing about your ED it is the ultimate liar telling you everyone hates you, you don't deserve food, you don't deserde to be loved or have a life outside of ED, and the biggest lie of all is that it is protecting you and never hurting you.
   Anorexia has the highest mortality rate of any other mental disease. When you starve your body long enough your organs begin to shutdown and eventually your body can shut down too. Bulimia is a nasty way to go also, imagine going on a huge binge and then heading to the bathroom to purge but this time things go wrong, your overly distended stomach ruptures and you begin throwing up blood and need to be rushed to the hospital. I've seen the picture of a dead woman head in the toilet her body covered in what they thought were bruises but found out it was the contents of her stomach settling into her thighs. I don't see how anyone could see that as a lifestyle.
   Because of my eating disorder I've lost my health quicker than I should have. I'm twenty six years old and have spent more time in hospitals than most do in their life. I have a miraculous baby who will see his mommy go through a transplant and more surgeries. I've had over ninety procedures, I'm fed through a tube in my small intestine, and get my hydration through a central line in my heart. I live everyday scared to death that I won't see my son grow up, that he will never know how much I love him.
   I didn't write all of this to scare you but to show you the harsh reality of eating disorders. You might buy into its a lifestyle with no consequences but I promise you it is not. If you make the choice to keep your ED there is a good chance you will die alone and never know what you could have done with your life. You are precious and you were put here for more than just starving yourselves. I know when you are just starting and those claws are just digging in you can't see past that high you get off of the scale dropping everytime you stand on. Or the high of being empty, which was always one for me. Now that I have been in recovery for three years I would love to be able to enjoy all those foods I denied myself for so long and I have a stomach and intestines that don't work.
   I promise you those girls you meet in chat groups or websites aren't trying to be your friend they are dragging you down with them. Everyone seems to want someone to be misrerable with them. I spend my time trying to get those pro sites taken down they just keep popping as soon as we get one down. I know accepting the fact that you are sick can be difficult, but dying is so much worse. You cannot have a life and an eating disorder. I don't think I can say it any plainer than that. I'm not trying to scare people into recovery, but I know what happens if you can't find the help you need. Rather than having a life you will be in and out of hospitals and eventually like fighting for your life and trying to make ammends with a body you spent so many years trying to destroy. The people you meet in those groups are not friends, like I said they just want someone else to be as miserable as they are. There are plenty of pro recovery groups that can help those in need of finding treatment.
   I've heard of people especially young women say they want to be sick and anorexic or want to have a tube down their nose tied to a bed. It truly disturbs me...having a tube shoved down your nose while being held down against your will is not a prize for not eating...it is a life saving procedure that hurts more than I can describle. There are serious consequences to having an eating disorder...it is an illness and it will kill you. It is my hope that people who read my blog understand how serious this is and how quickly things can get I bad shape. I really hope people start to reach out for help...everyone is beautiful and more than a number!